Hopes vs. Resolutions 2013

Happy New Year my sweet readers! As we ring in the new year, I think about the year that is past, and areas of the year that I plan to leave in the past, and what I hope for this year. Are you one to make resolutions? I've always felt like resolutions are, in a sense, just failures to look forward to. If they weren't we probably wouldn't be putting the same things on the list year after year. I don't want to feel like I failed at my endeavors, but rather feel excited to tackle some things in my life and hope that I am successful at doing it. Ok, I know, sounds like the definition of a resolution. Whatever makes me feel better, I guess. Here is my list, not necessarily in order, and some hold much higher hopes and expectations....

• Spend "real" time with my children. I'm a stay at home mom, so you would think I spend plenty of time with the kids. I would definitely agree with you most days! But, the truth is, as a stay at home mom, I find that I am around my kids...not spending time with them. I've put these expectations on myself, responsibilities that I must do everyday (even though continually they never get fully accomplished). As long as I hold myself to those unrealistic expectations, I'm going to miss all of this precious time that I will never get back. I should know by now, that I'll never finish the house cleaning by the time my husband gets home. The kids will have managed to (without a doubt) destroy all that I have cleaned in a whopping 15 minutes of walking through the door. By the time my husband gets home, it looks like I laid on the couch all day in my pj's while the kids had full run of the house. Thanks to Beckie at Infarrantly Creative, I learned about Lowe's Build and Grow, I signed up for the next to classes that they offer. The kids will L♥VE that! This year I want to do less yelling like a drill sergeant (some of you know what I mean), and experience more laughter, love, patience, and connection with each of my kids.
•  Refinish furniture on a regular basis. I'm not sure that I have ever done anything else in my life (as far as something for myself), that makes me feel more fulfilled and just proud. I hope to finish at least 1 new furniture project a week. This blog began as a blog of furniture projects, and somewhere along the way, it has veered away from that. Looking back, it was the very time that I stopped blogging about what I love, that I began not blogging as much. That is where my passion is, and what I love to write about. I love to share those post with you, and need to bring my blog back to what it started for. 
• To put my jewelry and furniture into a local retail space. I'm pretty sure I said this last year too, but we weren't at a place to really make that a reality. This year, I plan to (in the very near future) bring the jewelry from my shop, Speak Out Loud, to some local stores and find out what options are available to me. I want to have a space large enough to hold the furniture that I refinish, cause Lord knows our condo sure isn't! My dream has been to turn my hobby into a living.
• Lose weight. This is THE "STAPLE" resolution, right?? It belongs on our list, like milk and bread belong on our shopping list! For so many reasons, this is a must for me. For some reason, and I'm sure the cereal at midnight, and the fast food aren't one of them, I have been gaining weight all year. The weight that I am at right now, is the most I have been, not being pregnant. I need this to BE and FEEL healthier, to feel better about myself, to show my kids that it is important to take care of yourself, as well as to take that time for myself.
• This one is the big one...the one no one likes to admit to or talk about....QUIT SMOKING. My children are at the age that they can communicate LOUD AND CLEAR, that they want mom and dad to quit smoking. This is something that I want so badly, but have never really quit on my own. I have never smoked through pregnancy, I actually can't stand to be around cigarette smoke when I am pregnant. Well I am surely not going to be getting pregnant again, so that will not be an option. The only time that I was successful (not pregnant) was with Chantix. At the time that I used it, it wasn't talked about how it could make you suicidal. I'm not sure that, even had I of known that, it would have discouraged me from it. But, I had no idea of it, and soon after I started the medication, the thoughts came to my head. My son was a couple of years old at the time, and I worry that had he have not been in my life, the thoughts might have taken over. I never could imagine how someone could take their own life, but after experiencing such overwhelming thoughts, I can understand better what someone might think and feel in their darkest place. It is very scary what the mind can do, and even scarier that a little pill designed to help you, can control your mind and your thoughts to go to a place that you never thought imaginable. It took me months to regain my "sanity" and I quit smoking for about a year, but I will not be going that route this time. BUT, with all of my being, I pray that I will quit in the next couple of weeks.

So now that I have rambled on, I would love to hear what your plans, hopes, dreams, or resolutions are for 2013. I hope that this year bring much peace, happiness, and fullfilment! Thanks so much for coming by and taking the time to read! If you're new here, I would love for you to stick around to see all of the exciting things I have in store this year!